On love + eating words

A few years ago, I remember commenting on a blog about my marriage. "We never fight," I said. "Things are great. You shouldn't be going through this much drama so early on in your relationship. You're in marriage counseling before you're even married!"

All facts pointed towards impending doom, but they married anyway. Some people chided back to me, "That's impossible! No marriage is perfect. I don't believe you never fight. There must be something wrong with YOU!"

While I wasn't lying, they weren't either; because what I later learned is,  no long term relationship runs a perfectly smooth course. If it hasn't happened yet, it will eventually. Sometimes it's early on. Sometimes it's later. Sometimes only one side sees it at a time. Sometimes we pretend we are blind and that everything is a-ok. People are very good at putting up façades. Sometimes we build them without even knowing it.

I was talking to a friend last month about the difficulties in marriage and we both agreed that it seems like life would be easier if other people just thought and behaved the same way we do. Of course that wouldn't work or be an interesting way to live, but when we consider that most arguments stem from differing opinions, responses or actions -- it does kind of make sense.

As irony always wins, my husband and I were not exempt from trouble. After spending 13 years together, we seem to have run the gamut of standard relationship issues these past 5 years; financial woes, difficulties in the workplace, the enormous changes that children bring, (god forbid!) counseling, plus the basic evolution of ourselves. Today everything is fine, but who knows what tomorrow will bring.

It's funny how things change with time -- friends and lovers, understanding and confusion, smooth sailing and rough weather. Everything changes and yet everything stays the same. I think back on those comments a lot... more than I care to admit. I quit reading her blog, but sometimes I see her name pop up and wonder how things are going. I could go and look, but I already have a fair idea.

So here we are, all in this life together and yet our moments do not always coincide with each others. One day we will swap shoes and hopefully we will hand each other the key to understanding. Understanding that we are never alone and that everyone will be in similar boats eventually.

Right?

They must, for cliches don't happen without reason.

Four feet from falling

Bah Humbug! It's Thanksgiving and I couldn't be any less excited. Frankly, I'm feeling pretty down about the whole thing. I've been too busy with work to even think about it, as evidenced by my eleventh hour planning last night. This has somehow turned into my least favorite holiday...

It's not that I'm not grateful. I am truly thankful for all of my blessings and I promise that once I stop brooding, I will focus on all the wonderful things I do have instead of what I'm missing. But it is hard. This time of year is always very stressful for me. I've been working around the clock, as has my husband. (He's even working today and all weekend long!) We're both under a lot of pressure and instead of feeling like were part of a collective production, we're both just sort of focusing on our own tasks. That doesn't really lend itself to the spirit of Thanksgiving at all. Instead, it just makes me miss my family immensely.

Thanksgiving was always such a bustling holiday in our home; with aunts and uncles galore, children running amok, and a warm, full house. On the other hand, my house is feeling chaotic in a different way. We've been on a building/painting/fix-up rampage this past month, so much of our furniture is pushed into the center of rooms, the tv is off the wall, the art is laying in stacks, tape and visqueen hang from the ceiling. And although my children are running amok because my husband is working all day, I have the honor of getting everything ready on my own. Good thing I like to cook! To top it off, there's the likelihood that my children will not eat anything I've made. So you see, it's the not the cheeriest of days.

At any rate, we've got to eat, so for my menu I decided to go the non-traditional route since nothing about this Thanksgiving feels like something I want to repeat. There will be no turkey, stuffing, pie or cranberry sauce. Instead, I'm making a handful of recipes that I've been wanting to try:

Zuni Roasted Chicken with Bread Salad
Domino Potatoes
Brussel Sprouts with Bacon + Shallot
Persimmon and Pomegranate Salad with Cumin-Lime Vinaigrette
Creamed, Fresh Corn
Pumpkin Chiffon Cake with Espresso Whipped Cream

One day, I hope we'll be able to start a proper Thanksgiving tradition, but until then, I'm going to crank up some tunes, put on my apron and remind myself that I am lucky. I have a family, jobs that I love, great children, awesome friends, food to cook, a house to live in, passion in life, my yoga practice, a beautiful garden, music, and my health.

(And on a brighter note, my family will be here for most of December, so I promise not to be a scrooge for much longer!)

Image credits: Smitten Kitchen, White on Rice, Ezra Pound Cake, Bon Appetit, LA Times.

François in San Francisco with a parrot.

Last week, I spoke of my morning ritual. Tonight, I'd like to chat about our "good nights." But unlike mornings, this isn't in terms of Ayurveda or products... because frankly, our nightly routine consists of wine, bath time and ultimately, happily sleeping babes.

From the time I weaned my children (17 and 26 mos. respectively), we swapped out breastfeeding with books and song. I have a feeling we might have done things differently (ie. wrong) because I've watched friends and family alike have the simplest bedtime routine; bath, kiss and lights out. But for years, both my husband and I have read a few books (or one long chapter now) and then sung a handful of songs before our children have fallen into slumber.

As time went by, the kids started requesting made up stories. Now, my husband is a genius storyteller. I mean, he's really goooood! (I've heard a few while we've all been stuck in a hotel room and I'm like "Damn, that is impressive. Where's he pulling that out of?") He's just got a gift that I do not have at the end of the day. Because as creative as I think I am, by nighttime, the last thing I feel like doing is making up a story. I just want them to go to bed already! (Don't judge. I'm with them all day, everyday. I need a break, sometime. Right?)

Anyway, my husband was coming up with these terrific stories. So good in fact that my children would say, "Mom... you're better at singing but Dad, DAD is best at telling stories. Can you just sing and let him tell us the stories?" Well, that would be fine and dandy, but my husband's work schedule is all over the place and naturally, that meant I'd be stuck with children wanting Dad's great storytelling and Dad's "this and that" because they've been with me all day and we're all mutually sick of each other.

So, I came up with a plan.

First, it started out with me in a moment of despair, not knowing what to make up: "Give me a person, a place and a thing." And then I'd come up with a story with whatever they threw at me. But as time passed, it's now called, "You tell me a story." I'm going to give YOU a person, a place and a thing. And boy was it even more genius than what Daddy thought of. :) Racking a 5 and 7 year old brain at 7pm is nothing compared to a 37 year old brain!

Tonight was: Randy, Saskatchewan and a box. And you know what? They always come up with the best stories ever even if they have no idea what the fuck Saskatchewan is!

I might not be the storyteller of the family, but boy do I know how to think out of the box.

The Morning Ritual

I may be notorious for constantly switching things up, but I'm a creature of habit when it comes to my morning routine. Since I'm admittedly a night person, several years ago I started following a series of Ayurvedic-inspired "habits" to ease me into each day. This ritual is nurturing, predictable and self-loving. I can't always control how my day will turn out, but I can start it off on the right foot. Here's what I do:

Facial Moisturizing: As soon as I wake, I slather rich cream or oil on my face. My number one grievance with aging is dry skin. Now that the temperatures have dropped, my face and hands have become as dry as the desert. EEK! Thank goodness for moisturizers. My favorites are: Jurlique Moisture Replenishing Day Cream, Dr. Hauschka Rose Day Cream, or a custom blend of oils like chamomile, lavender, coconut or rose.

Tongue Scraping: As we sleep, our body attempts to get rid of toxins and our tongue, which is much like a sponge, is the perfect place to harbor many of them overnight. Cleaning it first thing not only removes the nasty bacteria that have accumulated, it also activates and enhances digestion and taste. Goodbye, Morning Breath!  It might seem strange at first, but the scraper is highly effective. If you don't want to shell out the $5 to buy one, the edge of a spoon works pretty well, too!

Warm Water and Lemon: Speaking of digestion, the first thing that enters my body is a cup of warm water and half a lemon. It's antibacterial, toxin flushing, discourages yeast growth, it's alkalizing, it tones and purifies the liver, and last but not least, it's good for the skin. (Unfortunately, I follow it with the strongest cup of coffee known to man. I'm not willing to give up my one cup yet, but I do drink herbal/spice tea and tons of water the rest of the day.)

Neti Pot with Nose Oil: I wrote about my my neti pot eons ago and my love still remains strong! When I was in Tucson last year, I found a great herb shop that carried Ayurvedic Nasal Oil which I rub into each nostril after the neti. It lubricates the membranes which allows for better intake of prana, which in turn energizes and sharpens the senses. Plus, it just feels good in this dry climate I live in.

Breakfast + Cocktail: I almost always eat either a bowl of  homemade granola (yes, I'm still eating it!) or a bowl of steel cut oats. And without fail, I follow that up with my Elixir. Did you ever try it? I swear by it!

Vitamins + Supplements: After brekkie, I take a multi-vitamin, plus a mixture of Ayurvedic/Chinese/Adaptogenic Herbs like Ashwagandha, Rhodiola, Astragulus and Purim/Hemocare.

Fresh Air: I try to spend the first hour of my day outside. I know this isn't an option for everyone, but since we are homeschooling, we've managed to factor it into our day. YAY! I can water, dead-head, plant seeds, weed, contemplate life, or make plans. Fresh air first thing in the morning is so incredibly revitalizing and refreshing. I absolutely love it!

So... that's how I begin each day. (Erin, are you sure you want a play by play of every hour?) :) I am positive that all of this helps keep me healthy and sane! And in a perfect world, it would be coupled with breathing exercises, yoga and meditation. Maybe a good side effect to aging will be that I start getting up earlier!

PS. I've been shopping at iHerb.com since Averie recommended it a few months ago. It is substantially cheaper than Whole Foods for many different healthcare items like supplements, toothpaste, body care, etc. And the shipping is fast. My first order arrived the next day! Plus they gave me a coupon for you to use! $5.00 off your first order with the following code: HUD322

Inspirer: Frank Ockenfels

These past 6 weeks have been some of my busiest ever. I hated to ruin last week's momentum, but I had no choice but to focus on my photography work. You can check out some sneak peeks over on my FB Photography page, if you like! :)

Nothing helps me stay focused better than watching an inspiring video about a rad photographer. Frank Ockenfels is brilliant! I love his work and quite possibly his journals even more.

FRANK OCKENFELS (click on the drawcutstick to view the notebooks. wow!)
"People don't put enough weight on failure and how amazing failure is in the sense of trying."


Frank Ockenfels from camerabag.tv on Vimeo.

Minimalist Pantry: Pancake Mix

Remember my Minimalist Pantry idea? After a whopping two whole posts, I abandoned it for fear that 1. everyone already had their own homemade pantry and 2. the recipes I planned to share were too boring. But the fact of the matter is, a pantry isn't about complicated and fancy recipes. The whole point is that they are simple, healthier homemade versions of the basics. So here we are again...

We eat pancakes about once a week and usually once a month I will try a different, proper recipe. I've made Gwynnies dad's famous pancakes , and these Buttermilk/Flaxseed beauties, plus these and these. But most days, I just want to whip out something fast and thoughtless and this is where a pre-made mix comes in handy. No one should ever buy pancake mix in a bag. It is the easiest thing to make up for the month, plus it's preservative/additive free. I've used this same recipe for years and have found it to be quite adaptable. Feel free to add fruit, nuts or switch up the flour if you want to make it a little healthier.

PANCAKE MIX

by Nigella Lawson

Combine and store the following ingredients in a large jar*:

4 cups of all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons baking powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons of sugar

To make the batter, whisk together the following (be careful to not overmix!):

1 cup of your pre-made mix

1 cup of milk

1 egg

1 tablespoon of melted butter (sometimes I just throw this on the pan as it heats up)

To cook:

Heat a flat griddle/pan over medium-high heat. Spoon batter onto the hot griddle. When the bubbles form, flip the pancakes over. Cook until golden brown on both sides. 

*I make a new batch at the beginning of each month and it makes four mornings worth of pancakes for my family of 4, with a couple of leftovers for the week.