Bad, Pupil Pupa, Bad!
09 July 2008 by 180|360
Speaking of butterflies...When I was up in Alaska, my sister-in-law, Stephanie told me a terrible but funny story that I thought I'd share. She is a fantastic kindergarten teacher- one of those people who was just meant to work with young children. Naturally, she's full of funny stories about her students, but this time it was a little different...
I'm pretty sure that every child these days has a class with a "butterfly habitat"- where they watch the life cycles of a bunch of butterflies and then eventually set them free. This happened to be Ava's favorite part of preschool last year, as I'm sure most children would agree.
Well, one particular chrysalis sadly emerged from it's pupa completely deformed. The poor thing had disfigured wings and was never going to be able to fly. It seemed the perfect opportunity for Stephanie to discuss "differences" and "physical handicaps" with her students. She prepped the class that it was going to die- that there was no way a damaged butterfly could live in today's world. But each day, she was proved wrong because oddly enough, the hapless creature would drag itself over to its food, pathetically limping to get to that sugary sustenance the "normal" butterflies were eating without problem. Each day the students would come to class anxious to see how the disfigured insect was doing. Amazingly, the butterfly was determined to live a normal life and beat the odds.
As the final days of school approached, Steph began to fear the blasted thing would never die. Since she couldn't release it into the sky with the other butterflies, she certainly wasn't going to take it home with her. Furious that it hadn't died of natural selection or natural causes, she decided to take matters into her own hands.She contemplated strangling the mangled beast- but that seemed a tad cruel. She attempted to stab it with a pencil, but stopped just short of puncture. Finally, the most humane thing she could come up with was burying it alive in the teacher's lounge garbage can. There it had its final moments before slowly starving to death under styrofoam coffee cups and xeroxed worksheets. She recited her alibi over and over in her head, formulating the right words to share the news with her students the next day. She hoped they would hardly notice its sudden disappearance.
But like most murderers don't consider, her students were suspicious. They queried how exactly it had died. They knew it was eating fine and seemingly capable of survival, even in its pathetic state of existence. They wanted to know why it wasn't available for viewing. "Where did it go?" they asked. Of course, Steph hadn't prepared answers for all of these questions and she came across looking incredibly dubious.
Sadly, the students were never able to find enough corroborating evidence against their teacher or any other unknown slayer. And poor Stephanie is still wracked with guilt for being a butterfly assassin. After confessing her sin and displaying measurable grief, she promised me that she'd never kill another malformed creature. Horrified, I told her that if she ever has the urge to murder the class hamster or guinea pig, she'd better head directly to the counselor's office!
Posts
OH MY GOD SHE KILLED THE BUTTERFLY!?
lol! thanks for the laugh- wait does that make me heartless?
Aw, she should have just released the butterfly with the other ones!
Stop Cruelty to Classroom Animals -- complete with a picture of a guinea pig dressed up as Santa.
*dabs away tears*
That's a really good story.
(Poor butterfly :( )
I'm kinda sad for the gimpy butterfly. :-(
I too giggled. I guess I am also heartless.
I nursed a goldfish with swim bladder disease for months because I couldn't kill it. It would have been humane to kill it since its life consisted of floating upside down at the top of the tank and getting headbutted by another fish.
I admit it, I giggled.
When I was in HS and I had to breed fruit flies, I managed to breed one that didn't have wings. I noted it in my research and then killed it. I had to kill a lot of flies otherwise they would have taken over the world!
I'm both laughing and crying but then, I'm a little crazy right now.
LMAO!!! What a great segue from your last post. I totally LOVED that story!
Oh god, that's a great great story. Is that the same age where kids are reading Nancy Drew- I can see all those little detectives putting her under the hot lamp "You killed it, didn't you!"
I laughed, too. So I'm glad to that I'm not the only sicko.
And the SCCA poster? Is classic!
I feel guilty for finding this funny and horrifying all at the same time. But it is such a funny story and Stephanie is truly a sweet young woman. I think that is what makes it even funnier.
Mistress of the Post- I'm worried my fish might have some kind of disease right now. Hmm... now I'm wondering. No. I couldn't do it either.
Jill- WHAT? You had to grow fruit flies? Why, why, why??
-rm- Thanks! I hoped someone would get the flow.
Punchline- I don't think they are reading Nancy Drew yet, but they could certainly act like that! :)
Melissa & LVGurl- Thanks! It's always great when people get your sense of humor.
Oh my, she should have at least let it go to try and survive in the world.
J's class released some butterflies this Spring and one was instantly grabbed by a bird. One of the kids was screaming, another trying to catch the bird. The poor teacher had to try to explain that sometimes these things just happen.